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11 Bullshit Things About Online Recipes

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Get to the dang recipe already.

When the author tells you their life story before getting to the actual recipe.

When the author tells you their life story before getting to the actual recipe.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

When they say it will take 20 minutes, but you know that shit is going to take hours.

When they say it will take 20 minutes, but you know that shit is going to take hours.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

When a recipe is rated five stars except that everyone who reviewed it also put their own little twist on it.

When a recipe is rated five stars except that everyone who reviewed it also put their own little twist on it.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Claiming that the recipe is “easy” but you see about 47 steps when you open it.

Claiming that the recipe is "easy" but you see about 47 steps when you open it.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Or when they pull you in with a recipe of very few steps, but each step is insanely complicated.

Or when they pull you in with a recipe of very few steps, but each step is insanely complicated.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

You pull the recipe up on your phone but your hands are all sticky from disgusting raw chicken juice so it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

You pull the recipe up on your phone but your hands are all sticky from disgusting raw chicken juice so it's more trouble than it's worth.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

When the recipe calls for a tiny bit of something that is only available in gigantic bunches.

When the recipe calls for a tiny bit of something that is only available in gigantic bunches.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Or when they ask you to open a whole new bottle of wine for just a tablespoon of the stuff.

Or when they ask you to open a whole new bottle of wine for just a tablespoon of the stuff.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

When a pinch of something is integral to the recipe, but you know full well that that $18 bottle of whatever will never get used again.

When a pinch of something is integral to the recipe, but you know full well that that $18 bottle of whatever will never get used again.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

The little *surprise* recipe at the end if there’s some kind of extra thing you have to make with it.

The little *surprise* recipe at the end if there's some kind of extra thing you have to make with it.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

And when you work your butt off to make the perfect dish, yet it doesn’t taste nearly as good as the instant stuff.

And when you work your butt off to make the perfect dish, yet it doesn't taste nearly as good as the instant stuff.

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

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